In many bilingual households, families speak in their native language at home, but outside of the house, they speak English. Imagine being in that situation—where you can understand the language fluently, but you can’t speak it. That’s what I deal with every day.
When I was young, I rarely spoke at all. My parents were worried, so they enrolled me in speech therapy. However, the teacher only spoke English, not Spanish, so I ended up learning only English. As a result, I developed a language barrier between myself and my parents.
From 1st to 3rd grade, my parents tried to help me learn Spanish, and I also tried to learn it at school. However, I struggled to remember what I was learning. My elementary school didn’t offer any language classes. At that time, having a conversation with my parents was difficult, but it wasn’t as challenging because I could ask my sisters to translate. Since they didn’t have jobs or a lot of homework, they were available to help. But this dynamic meant I didn’t have the same connection with my parents that my sisters did, which made me feel left out in many family situations.
As I entered 4th to 6th grade, the language barrier began to affect my relationship with my parents more deeply. Two of my three older sisters started college and had jobs, while my other sister entered high school. I no longer had anyone to translate for me. My relationship with my parents started to feel distant. On top of that, COVID hit, which made things worse. My sisters were either working or busy with school, and my dad was gone most of the day because of his job. So, during that time, it was just me, my mom, and my second-oldest sister at home.
During that period, I started exploring my own interests and began talking to my mom and sister about things I was passionate about. However, my sister translated my words in a way that made it sound bad. When I tried to explain myself, she kept making it seem like I was saying something wrong. My mom then scolded me, saying that what I was talking about was for “crazy people.” That experience made me hesitant to share anything with my parents or siblings from then on. Ever since that moment, I’ve felt like a stranger in my own house, so I started retreating to my room more often.
Now, in 7th grade and continuing into the present day, I still stay in my room a lot and continue to feel like a stranger in my own house. However, I’m still trying to build a connection with my parents and learn Spanish. My plan for high school is to take as many Spanish classes as possible and work toward getting into a prestigious college. I want to make my parents proud and strengthen my connection with them.
